1. Thinking that you are a victim.
You’re not a victim. So stop blaming other people or your circumstances for your problems. Just because you don’t like where you are now doesn’t mean that you can’t take personal responsibility to change it for the better. So get rid of that victim-mentality because it doesn’t help anything. In fact, it acts as an obstacle to success. Realize that you, and only you, are responsible for your destiny.
2. Thinking that you can change other people.
You can’t. I had to learn this the hard way. There was a time in my life when I thought I could “motivate” and “inspire” people to be their best selves. It took me a while to realize that the only thing that can change other people is themselves. If they don’t want to change—or don’t know how—then all of your efforts will be wasted. So don’t worry about other people. If you don’t like them “as is,” then you have the choice to not hang out with them anymore. But you don’t have the right to change them.
你 做不到的。我本人也是费了一番功夫才明白这一道理。在我生命中曾经有过那么一段时间，我觉得我可以“刺激”，或者说“激励”别人做到最好。后来我才意识 到，能改变他们的只有他们自己。如果他们不愿意改变，或者不知道如何做出改变，那么你的努力都白费了。所以不要再担心其他人了，如果你不喜欢他们现在的样 子，那你大可以中断与他们的联系。但是，你无权改变他们。
3. Thoughts that constantly resist “What Is.”
Some things you can change. In fact, a lot of things you can change. You can lose weight. You can find a better job. You can go back to school. You can work on your marriage. But there are some things you can’t change. Those things are simply “what is.” You can’t change that your boss is a jerk. You can change jobs, but you can’t change your boss. You can’t change the fact that you have to pay rent or your mortgage. But you can stop resisting it. Resisting the unchangeable does nothing more than frustrate you and make you miserable. So change what you can, and accept what you can’t.
有 些事你是可以改变的。事实上，有很多事可以改变。你可以减肥，找到一份更好的工作，你可以回到学校上学，你可以为自己的婚姻而努力。但有些事情你是没法改 变的。那就是客观存在的事情。你不能改变你老板是个混蛋这一事实，你可以换工作，但你没法换老板。你也不能改变要付房租这一现实。但你可以不去抵触这些事 情。抵触无法改变的事情只会让你更沮丧，看起来更可悲。所以，改变你能改变的，接受你所不能改变的。
4. Thinking that “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side.”
“If only I was as pretty as that girl, then I’d be happy.” Or “If only I was as rich as that guy, then I’d be happy.” Those kinds of thoughts aren’t true. Just because you think someone else has it better than you doesn’t mean they do. Maybe the pretty girl came from an abusive home and can’t get her life in order. And maybe the rich guy spends so much time at work that he never gets to see his family. The grass is not greener on the other side. So appreciate the grass you have. It’s your grass. So love it.
“要 是我有那个女孩那么漂亮，我就太开心了。” “我跟他一样有钱就好了。”这些想法并不是真的。别人拥有比你更好的条件并不代表他们真的比你好。那个漂亮的 女孩可能受到家暴，生活无法井然有序。那个有钱的男人或许花费太多时间在工作上，从来没机会与家人相聚。别人的不总是好的。所以学会欣赏你所拥有的吧。那 是你的，所以要喜欢它。
5. Having expectations of other people.
Expectations can be deadly to happiness, even if you think your expectation is reasonable, such as having your roommate or spouse do his/her share of the chores around the house. Just because you expect it doesn’t mean they will do it. Realize that your expectations come from your personal experiences and biases. They are not necessarily other people’s priority. You probably don’t like being expected to do things that you don’t want to do, so don’t impose your expectations on others. If you don’t like their behavior, either accept it, or move on.
指 望这东西对幸福可能是致命的，即便你认为你的指望合情合理，例如指望你的室友或是爱人承担打扫房子的义务。你指望别人做一件事，并不代表他们真的会这么 做。要记住，你的指望不外乎是来自自身经验和偏见罢了。它们对于别人而言不一定重要。你自己或许也不希望别人对你有所指望，让你做你不喜欢做的事情吧。所 以，不要把你的指望强加在别人身上。如果你对他们的行为不满意，要么接受，要么忽视。
6. Thinking that having a significant other will complete you.
If you are not a whole person already, then having a romantic partner will not make you whole. Plus, it puts a lot of pressure on the other person to “make you happy.” You need to be happy with yourself with or without someone. Having a significant other doesn’t make you happier. Only youcan make yourself happy.
7. Feeling that you always need to prove that you are right.
I always wonder why people will fight to the death to prove they are “right.” What’s the point? I think it’s because they don’t want to look weak. Or vulnerable. Or stupid. But I think admitting you are wrong is a much more noble and mature thing to do. Besides, everyone has a different opinion. So why not have yours and let them have theirs?
8. Worrying about what other people think.
Why do you care? Do you think they are judging you? I’m going to let you in on a little secret. No one is judging you as much as you are judging yourself. Other people are too busy judging themselves just like you that they probably don’t even give you a second thought! So do what makesyou happy. And if others are judging you, then it’s their problem, not yours. Ignore them and be happy anyway.
你 为什么要在意？你觉得他们在对你评头论足？我来告诉你，没人在评论你，评论你的是你自己。其他人像你一样，光顾着评论自己了，他们甚至可能根本没有对你多 想。所以，做些让你开心的事吧。如果真的有人在评判你，那是他们的问题，并不是你的。忽视他们，然后继续过你开心的日子。
9. Thinking there is only ONE right and ONE wrong.
We live in a world where we like to think there is an objective reality. But guess what? Objective reality is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. Only subjective realities do. What one person thinks is the “truth” is not the truth for someone else. For example—who’s right? The Republicans or the Democrats? Well, it depends on who you ask, right? Everyone thinks something is right because it fits their life and the way they look at the world. And that’s it. Period. End of story.
在 我们这个世界上，人们总是认为客观事实只有一个。但是你知道吗，所谓的客观事实只是人们想出来的。它根本不存在。存在的只有主观事实。一个人认为是“事 实”的对另一个人可能不适用。例如，共和党人和民主党人谁是对的？这要取决于你问的是谁，不是吗？每个人都有自己认为是对的东西，因为那贴合他们的生活， 符合他们的世界观。仅此而已。对错是要视情况而定的。就是这样。
10. Worrying about the future because you feel unprepared.
I love this saying: “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.” And if you believe in the power of prayer, then you know that sending out thoughts and emotions into the Universe/God (whatever your belief system) works much of the time. So instead, be here in the NOW. Now is all you have. So be present and stop worrying about the future because you can only control it to a certain extent.
11. Thinking that money equals happiness.
We live in a capitalistic culture that values money and achievement. We think that people who have a lot of money are somehow better than those who don’t. But that’s simply not true. I’m sure there are plenty of happy monks in the world who probably don’t hold a dollar to their names. Or someone working at McDonald’s may be really happy while some billionaires aren’t. So don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to be rich to be happy. It simply isn’t true. Money is nice, but it doesn’t make you happy. Only you can do that.
我 们生活在一个物欲横流的社会中，推崇金钱和人的成就。我们认为富裕的人总是比那些没钱的人更幸福。但那并不是真的。我相信世界上肯定有很多幸福的僧侣，他 们名下甚至连一分钱都没有。我也相信，有些快餐店的服务员生活得很幸福而一些亿万富翁却没有幸福的感觉。所以，不要陷入这样一种迷思，并不是有钱才能幸 福。那不是真的。钱确实是好的，但它并不能使你幸福。使你幸福的只有你自己。
12. Believing that the past determines your future.
Just because you came from a poor family, or made mistakes in the past does not mean that you can’t make your future better. If you have labeled yourself as a “failure” because of your past, then you will only continue your “failure” attitude into the future. And if you’ve heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy phenomenon, then you know that what you think, you become. So like I said in the opening paragraph: “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life!”
即 便你来自一个穷苦家庭，或者你过去犯了一些错误，你依旧能够为自己创造一个美好的未来。如果你因为你的过去而给自己贴上“失败者”的标签，那你未来也只会 带着这种“失败”感继续生活下去。如果你听说过自我实现现象，那你就该知道，你的想法决定了你的未来。所以，就像我在开篇所说的：“改变想法，成就生活！ （Via：Chinadaily）